Motherisms

Whether they are praising us or scolding us, Moms always have a quotable one-liner waiting to let us know exactly what they think. While it’s always a good idea to take Mom seriously while she’s saying it, we can’t help but look back and laugh sometimes.

Here are a few of our favorite Motherisms. Do you recognize any?

Rules

“If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it to?”
“I don’t care what [name of best friend]’s parents do, when you’re living in my house you obey my rules.”

New Clothes and Hand-Me-Downs

“You’ll grow into them.”
“They’ll shrink.”
“Just roll up the sleeves a bit.”
“We’ll get those trousers altered.”
“Some thick socks will make those shoes fit.”
On buying shoes that are slightly too big: "When you're wearing your heavy socks, they will fit just fine."
“Wear your new shoes to school. Keep your old shoes for the back yard.”
On keeping the old shoes: "You can use the new pair as your school shoes and kick around the house in the others."

Sage Advice

“Slow down. You’ve got your whole life to be a grown up.”
"You'll be an adult forever, what's your hurry?"
“Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.”
"Give folks their flowers while they're living."
“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”
"Happiness is a direction, not a place."
“You call that a broken heart? You’ve got a lot of living to do.”
"You think that's heartache? Just keep on living."
“If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.”
“If you keep making that face, it’s going to freeze that way.”
“Sticks and stone may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.”
“Measure twice, cut once.”
"Measure twice, saw once."
“Hang in there.”
“It’s all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.”
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
“Don’t bother—I just got back from where you’re headed.”
"I've been where you're trying to go."
“I suppose you’ll do what you want anyway.”
Upon asking her opinion: "Do what you want. You will anyway."

Anatomy

“You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed onto your neck.”
On forgetfulness: "You'd forget your head if it weren't attached to you."

Sex

“Don’t go out and make me a grandmother!”

Eating

“Just scrape off the black part of the toast.”
On burned toast: "Just scrape it off."
“Elbows off the table.”
“Always eat your vegetables.”
“Finish your vegetables—there are children starving in Africa!”
"The poor children in [fill in the name of an impoverished country] would kill to have what you have."
“Would you eat like that on a first date?”
On watching a son gulp down a meal: "What girl is going to want to sit and watch you eat like that?"
On watching a daughter gulp down a meal: "What boy is going to want to sit and watch you eat like that?"

Health & Hygiene

“Don’t forget your jacket.”
“Don’t forget your mittens.”
“Don’t forget your hat.”
“Always brush your teeth.”
“Always wear clean underwear (in case you’re in an accident).”
“Wash behind your ears—I can see carrots growing back there.”

When Baby Bird Leaves the Nest

“Write me a letter once a month.”
“E-mail me at least once a week.”
“Call me every day.”
“I miss you.”

On Running Away

“Don’t worry, I’ll pack up the rest of your things and send them to your new address.”
"Hey, I'll pack your clothes and send them to you later."

Financial Advice

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“Do I look like an ATM?”
Upon asking her for money: "Do I look like a bank?" which has evolved into, "Do I look like a Cash Station?"

Discipline

“Stop fighting or I’ll turn this car right around.”
“Just wait until your father gets home.”
“Don’t make me come in there.”
“Why? Because I said so.”
“Who do you think you are?”
"Just who do you think you are?"

Obedience

“If you don’t like my rules, then there’s the door!”
“We can talk about the rules when you start paying rent.”
"While you're living here, you'll dance to my music."

Intelligence

“Do you think I was born yesterday?”
"I wasn't born yesterday, you know."
“You think you’re so clever…”
"I bet you think you're so smart."

The Guilt Trip

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.”
“Do you feel good about yourself now?”
"Are you proud of yourself?"
“Is it too much to ask for a few kind words?”
"All I want is a few kind words."
“Am I asking so much?”
"Is that too much to ask?"
“I went through labor to have you behave like this?”
"I endured [fill in the number] hours of labor, and you can't do what I ask?"
“I never made my Mother cry.”
"I never made my mother cry."

And, When You Really Deserve It,

“I’ll give you something to cry about”
“I’m the one who brought you here, don’t think I can’t take you out.”

The Ultimate Insult

“I hope someday you have children just like you.”

Subtle (and not-so-subtle) Reminders

“M is for Mom, not for Maid.”
“Clean up your room, it looks like a tornado hit.”
“It looks like a pigsty in here!”
“Close that door, are you growing a tail?”
“Were you born in a barn?”
“Turn off the light when you leave the room.”
“If you use up the toilet paper, please change the roll.”
Upon passing a bathroom: "Am I the only one who knows how to change the toilet paper roll?"

Anytime, Anyplace

“No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
"Just remember, I love you no matter what."

Hey, don't believe everything you read! Check out our Motherisms Myth-Busting page.