Motherisms
Whether they are praising us or scolding us, Moms always have a quotable one-liner waiting to let us know exactly what they think. While it’s always a good idea to take Mom seriously while she’s saying it, we can’t help but look back and laugh sometimes.
Here are a few of our favorite Motherisms.
Top 10 All-Time
- “If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”
- “It’s all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out.”
- “You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on.”
- “Elbows off the table.”
- “Don't talk with your mouth full.”
- “Clean up your room, it looks like a tornado hit.”
- “Do you think I was born yesterday?”
- "Is that too much to ask?"
- “Why? Because I said so, that's why!”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”
Health & Hygiene
- “Don’t put that in your mouth.”
- “Have you brushed your teeth yet today?”
- “Did you put on clean underwear? What will people think if you’re in an accident?”
- “Wash behind your ears—I can see carrots growing back there.”
- “Stand up straight, you're hunching over.”
- “Don’t forget your jacket.”
- “Don’t don't run with scissors.”
Eating
- “Eat your vegetables.”
- “Take smaller bites.”
- “Finish your meal—there are children starving in [fill in the name of an impoverished country]!”
- Just scrape off the burnt part, it's still good."
- “Would you eat like that on a first date?”
- What girl is going to want to watch you eat like that?"
- What boy is going to want to watch you eat like that?"
New Clothes and Hand-Me-Downs
- “You’ll grow into them.”
- “They’ll shrink.”
- “Just roll up the sleeves a bit.”
- “We’ll get those trousers altered.”
- “Some thick socks will make those shoes fit.”
- “Wear your new shoes to school. Keep your old shoes for the back yard.”
Running Away
- “Don’t worry, I’ll pack up the rest of your things and send them to your new address.”
- " I'll pack your clothes and send them to you later."
Lost and Found
- “Don’t worry, I’ll pack up the rest of your things and send them to your new address.”
- " I'll pack your clothes and send them to you later."
Discipline
- “Look at me when I'm talking to you!”
- “Don't use that tone with me.”
- “Don’t make me come in there.”
- --> “I'm coming in there right now!!”
- --> “Don’t make me come in there again!”
- “Who do you think you are?”
- “Just wait until your father gets home.”
- “Stop fighting or I’ll turn this car right around.”
Rules
- “I don’t care what [name of best friend]’s parents say, in our house you follow our rules.”
- “If you don’t like the rules, then there’s the door!”
- “We can talk about the rules when you start paying rent.”
- "While you're living here, you'll dance to my music."
Cleverness
- "I wasn't born yesterday, you know."
- “You think you’re so clever…”
- "You always think you know better than everyone else."
- "I bet you think you're so smart."
The Guilt Trip
- “Would it hurt to call once in a while?”
- “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.”
- “Do you feel good about yourself now?”
- "Are you proud of yourself?"
- “Is it too much to ask for a few kind words?”
- “Am I asking so much?”
- “I went through labor, and you can't even do this one little thing?”
- “I never made my Mother cry.”
When You Really Deserve It
- “I’ll give you something to cry about”
- “I’m the one who brought you here, don’t think I can’t take you out.”
The Ultimate Insult
- “I hope someday you have children just like you.”
Subtle (and not-so-subtle) Reminders
- “Am I talking to a brick wall? Pay attention!”
- “What would you do if I were'nt here?”
- “M is for Mom, not for Maid.”
- “It looks like a pigsty in here!”
- “Were you born in a barn? Clean up that mess.”
- “Close that door, are you growing a tail?”
- “Turn off the light when you leave the room.”
- “If you finish up the toilet paper, please change the roll.”
Sage Advice
- “Act your age, you're not two years old anymore.”
- “Slow down. You’ve got your whole life to be a grown up.”
- "You'll be an adult forever, what's your hurry?"
- “Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.”
- "Give folks their flowers while they're living."
- “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”
- "Happiness is a direction, not a place."
- “You call that a broken heart? You’ve got a lot of living to do.”
- "You think that's heartache? Just keep on living."
- “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.”
- “If you keep making that face, it’s going to freeze that way.”
- “Sticks and stone may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.”
- “Measure twice, cut once.”
- “Hang in there.”
- “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
- “Don’t bother—I just got back from where you’re headed.”
- "I've been where you're trying to go."
- “I suppose you’ll do what you want anyway.”
- Upon asking her opinion: "Do what you want. You will anyway."
Sex
- “Don’t go out and make me a grandmother!”
When Baby Bird Leaves the Nest
- “Write me a letter once a month.”
- “E-mail me at least once a week.”
- “Call me every day.”
- “I miss you.”
Financial Advice
- “Do I look like an ATM?”
- And who do you think is going to pay for that?"
Anytime, Anyplace
- “Give your mom a hug.”
- “No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
- "Just remember, I love you no matter what."
Oooops, We Forgot One!
- “Don't believe everything you hear."
... which is why you need to check out our Motherisms Myth-Busting page!
